Take a bow Dalkey Archive Press, for winning the social media scathing disdain of the year award. For the time of year that’s in it, they also have quite possibly won Scrooge of the season award. It could also be an elaborate joke, but judging by the sombre nature of the rest of their website and how so far stuck up their own arse they are, I suspect not.
Dalkey Archive Press have some employment opportunities. You can view them here Dalkey Archive employment opportunities. I suspect they will be removed and reworded so I took the liberty of taking some screen shots.
Interesting job opportunities for those looking for employment in the publishing industry. Providing of course you don’t have a family wedding in Rio, I presume the same goes for funerals in Maldives or christenings in the Seychelles. They want you to be – willing to sacrifice to make your career happen. Dalkey Press would also ask that you do not have any other commitments (personal or professional) that will interfere with their work at the Press (family obligations, writing, involvement with other organizations. That orphanage you volunteer with, will have to lose you. The hour you do every year on Daffodil Day in aid of the Irish Cancer Society – will be a person down from now on.
I’m guessing if you are unemployed and looking for a job there is not much in the way of anything professional going on. Although if you want the job, your personal life may get in the way. You better close your Facebook and promptly inform your friends you will never see them again. That guy/gal you just started dating and were having olympian gymnastic sex with, P45 for them. You will need to be on call 24/7 this will include weekends and nights. Think of it as starting a new journey, Like death.
You will also have to drown the kittens, put your dog down and in all likelihood probably have to sell your child just to prove how badly you want the job. There’s a booming market for pasty white Irish kids in the middle eastern slave markets. The little apple of your eye will at least know how much Mammy or Daddy had to sacrifice to get the job of their dreams.
How much does this job of a lifetime pay ? Well it depends, because they don’t tell us.
The pool of candidates for positions will be primarily derived from unpaid interns in the first phase of this process, although one or two people may be appointed with short-term paid contracts.
They would like you to work for FREE. For a job that wants you to have a strong interest in literary publishing; are very well read in literature in general and Dalkey Archive books in particular; are highly motivated and ambitious; are determined to have a career in publishing and will sacrifice to make that career happen; are willing to start off at a low-level salary and work their way upwards; possess multi-dimensional skills that will be applied to work at the Press; look forward to undergoing a rigorous and challenging probationary period either as an intern or employee; want to work at Dalkey Archive Press doing whatever is required of them to make the Press succeed.
That’s a serious amount skills, for a job that may pay less than slave children working in Asian clothing factories or the coal mining children of Pakistan.
Oh and, Any of the following will be grounds for immediate dismissal during the probationary period:
Coming in late or leaving early without prior permission.
Being unavailable at night or on the weekends; failing to meet any goals;
Giving unsolicited advice about how to run things.
Taking personal phone calls during work hours; gossiping; misusing company property, including surfing the internet while at work.
Submission of poorly written materials; creating an atmosphere of complaint or argument.
Failing to respond to emails in a timely way.
Not showing an interest in other aspects of publishing beyond editorial.
Making repeated mistakes; violating company policies.
Tough crowd, finally Dalkey press explicitly state, we seek people who know what a job is.
If you really want to…
To apply, send the following to John O’Brien, email@example.com : a letter explaining the basis of interest in the position, why you want to work at Dalkey Archive Press, why you’re qualified, and why we would be foolish–in light of your knowledge, skills, and experience–not to want you to be an important part of the Press. Also attach a current CV including three references and their contact details. Assume that you will begin to be evaluated as soon as your application arrives. And also assume that you will be one of the unpaid interns until you are ready to take on all the responsibilities of a position.
Isn’t a job something that you are paid for your knowledge, skill and experience ?
Or you could always take Jane’s advice……..